Kids freak me out. And yet somehow I’ve found myself in the children industry. Apparently I help ‘learn them’ English, words which probably clarify what a great English teacher I am.
Sometimes I don’t think I should be a ‘teacher of children,’ because instead of correcting their mistakes, I appear to be picking up their mistakes and speaking their broken Spanglish – even in my head.
I have no experience with children. I haven’t shat out any of my own nor did I grow up with any tiny people around me. I was the child; I still am the child. The kids I work with make me uneasy because sometimes they are younger than Facebook. Or Coachella. Or the gluten free craze. Once, a teacher and I decided to show students how to rewind a cassette tape with a pencil to save the batteries in the Walkman from going dead, just for shits and giggles. A few kids barely knew what a pencil was. Children are funny like that.